When I talk about sexuality, I’m talking about what I used to be

Been watching Bill Johnson preaching on sexual sin in the church.  Firstly, let me just say what an amazing sermon this is.  To see someone prepared to stand up and preach on a topic which most Pastors would shy away from is refreshing but more importantly what he covers is amazing.  He handles the topic with love and truth and for me his explanations are no nonsense and simple to understand.

In a nutshell, Bill explains that we live in a society where we are destroying the concept of a “Creator”.  As such we then destroy the issue of how we are designed, if there is no creator then there is no argument for us being designed in a specific way.  If you remove the issue of design then you remove purpose, what is our purpose?   And finally, if we have no purpose, we have no accountability, fear of God has been demolished. 

Believing in God brings fear of God and that draws us affectionately to the Lord giving us a desire to walk in absolute obedience


When I talk about sexuality, in reality I’m talking about me and what I used to be, what I want to say to you is simple when I say it in my mind, but I kind of find that when I talk to you, my words get skewed, now I don’t mean to be rude but I feel that’s cos you don’t believe that God is real and when faced with someone who’s erased God from the planet then how can I explain that God designed me, you see I believe that God designed me perfectly, it was me who got it completely screwed, me who pursued this lifestyle and OK it took a while for me to see that I was hiding from reality, I jumped in with both feet because at that time I couldn’t be what God chose me to be, I was damaged goods, unable to see what was so good about God’s design, but over time I came to see that God designed me to be me and by that I mean he wanted me to be free, free from the sin and free from the shame that held me in a place of pain, he revealed his love to me, he has a job for me, a job that is perfectly aligned to my capability, finally, a purpose, my purpose to live the life God wants for me, obediently living a life free of sin, accountable for my behaviour and loved affectionately by my Saviour, you see I get it, God is my creator and better late than never I got that he is greater than anything I choose to be, my identity no longer in my sexuality, freedom secured through his sacrifice, my life bought, assured of God’s love and forgiveness, I’m not religious just someone keen to witness to the difference God has made to me, his outrageous love and compassion smashing the myth that God is aloof or judgmental, establishing that God sees potential in all humanity, his love breaking down barriers, radically establishing justice and decency because with God there’s no hate only factuality, and see, here’s one fact you are failing to see, God created you and he created me, we are created, designed to his blueprint, his fingerprint’s all over me, my purpose to serve him in totality, to turn from my sin in accountability and find out what it means to finally be free, Satan has lost his grip on me now I see I was created and designed by God above and through my obedience I have been redeemed by his love.

I celebrate that you chose me

Was reading this morning about God’s plans and what struck me was the comment, “God’s plans are not dependent on our successes” which led into “trust in his power not our competence”.

God has amazing plans for us and I believe these will happen through his power, so if we fail it’s not going to stop God, he knows our weaknesses and incompetence and he still works through us and in us to achieve all he has mapped out for us.

Led me to look up some verses about God’s plans and have just listed 10 below but there are so many more… makes me stand back in awe and wonder at God’s amazing provision and plans for my life despite my failures and incompetence of the past and future…

  • Proverbs 16:3 – Commit to the Lord whatever you do and he will establish your plans.
  • Proverbs 19:21 – Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.
  • Jeremiah 29:11 – 11 For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
  • Psalm 37:7 – Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.
  • Jeremiah 1:5 – Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.’
  • Isaiah 43:19 – See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.
  • Romans 8:28 – And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
  • Philippians 1:6 – being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
  • 2 Corinthians 2:14 – But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ’s triumphal procession and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere.
  • John 15:16 – 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit – fruit that will last – and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.


I am undertaking to trust your amazing plans for me, I hand over my plans to you cos I don’t want to do this my way it is your purpose that will succeed, your plans are filled with good things, plans of hope, promise of a great future, plans of a loving God who created me to be part of the bigger picture, no longer the missing piece but now an essential component, anointed one, chosen personally, called for a specific purpose, confident that you start whatever you finish, you work for good for those who love you, use me oh God to spread the aroma of your victory and the knowledge of your Majesty far and wide, stand by my side as I celebrate that you chose me and I choose to follow that through, to confess with my tongue that you are Lord, believe in my heart that you rose again triumphantly winning victory over the enemy and I seek your guidance, your plans more perfect than I could imagine, so I come before you with patience and I wait, I don’t fret or worry when others are hurrying about their business making decisions, moving forwards, I wait until I see this new thing and as a spring of living water flowing through me your Spirit guides me on the paths of truth, fulfilling the plans you have for me, restoring my holy destiny.

Seriously he brings us joy and peace not just at Christmas

Was reading something this morning about the Christmas story and how it is a story of a miracle that offers salvation as well as purpose, hope and grace, comfort, joy for those who seek and believe – found it to be really thought provoking sometimes too easy to forget the real purpose of the nativity – I have referenced some Bible verses below.

The Miracle Isaiah 9:6 – For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given

Purpose Luke 4 18 – ‘The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free

Hope and Grace John 3 16 – For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life

Comfort– Psalm 147:3 – He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.

Joy – Nehemiah 8:10 The joy of the Lord is your strength 

Believe and Seek – Hebrews 11:6 Anyone who comes to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

The Christmas story

Miraculous, full of purpose, hope and grace, comfort and joy for those who seek and believe, for unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given, a miracle from heaven and he shall be called wonderful, his birth full of purpose, his objective deliverance and the Lord has anointed us to proclaim good news to the poor, to proclaim freedom for those shamed and imprisoned, to give sight to the blind and to set the oppressed free, that is why he was born in a stable, that is how I am able to seize the hope and grace that God’s gift offers me, hope and grace summed up by his amazing sacrifice, for God so loved the world he sent his only son, a sacrifice for whoever believes in him, not a selected crew, a select few but whomever believes shall not die but live forever he never meant for us to suffer but through the plans of the enemy the human race fell, hell became a reality for those who failed to see that the miracle of Christmas, God’s amazing gift for us is real, freely given with purpose and reason, the Christmas season simply serves as a reminder of our brighter tomorrow, when his comfort will wipe out all sorrow, he will heal the broken hearted and bind up their wounds, revealing to all physical, mental and spiritual healing, relief from the pressures of our human frailty, Jesus came as a baby to bring joy and cheer, he is here now and the joy of the Lord is our strength, we are victorious in Jesus, seriously he brings us joy and peace not just at Christmas but all through the year, so have no fear do not be afraid, believe in him and you are saved, seek to know him, seek to find him, anyone who comes to him and believes in his existence and the reality of the baby growing up to be our Saviour has understood the greater story behind the nativity, God gave his son to set you free so you can see what the miracle of Christmas really is, God’s purpose can be achieved in your life through hope and grace he gives comfort and joy for those who believe and seek his face.

Things can happen in a different order than the one I have in mind

Been reading about Esther this week and realised that God puts us in the right place at the right time, we then just need to do what he asks us to do.  I realise that God uses our experiences to shape us and prepare us so however we got to that place we should praise God.  As part of the teaching from this reading there was a reference to Genesis 50:19-20

But Joseph said to them, ‘Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God?  You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

Taking this in the context of my life I know that God never let go of me whilst I was not following him, he has given me experiences that I can now draw upon to help me talk to others through my writing and in person and he is using my testimony already for his purposes, may he continue to use me and may I save many lives for him!


When you need to use me God I know you will make it clear, take away any fear of speaking out, leave me in no doubt as to when the time is ripe to speak up, right space, right time and the right place with God, resulting in opportunities to bless others through your word.

Time stops for nobody, take my chances, when I have the answers share them, if I fail to speak out, that chance has gone for ever, don’t doubt myself if I have a message, share it cos time is precious and that moment may not be present in a different situation.

Sometimes the time’s not right and that’s OK, things can happen in a different order than the one I have in mind, I pray to arrive as God is ready to make his move, when he has prepared the way, improved the chances of a reaction and I am aware of the consequences of my inaction.

Make me fit for purpose, may I take my cue from you, prime and prepare me for your work, may I immerse myself in your word may I be spurred on to serve, help me hold my nerve when you need me to speak out, may I draw on all your teaching and your word, keep me on my guard for chances that you create and I will step up to the plate.

God goes before us and levels the mountains

I went for a walk today and had a chat with God, I made room for him to talk to me.  More precisely I made time to listen to him.  As I walked I felt an overwhelming feeling that God was saying he has a purpose and a place for me.  The purpose is not fully clear but I got a feeling it was strongly connected to my church, but God made it very clear that the place was right here where I live, which was an endorsement of a recent decision not to move away.  He put Isaiah 45 on my mind and when I got home I turned to my Bible and verses 2 and 3 jumped right out at me.

Isaiah 45 v 2-3

I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.

What an amazing and uplifting message from God, coupled with a message from a friend earlier in the day it has given me a great optimism for my future.


I have a purpose for you my daughter, I am the author of your future, the producer of your story, remain strong, focussed and you will see my glory.

I have a plan for your lifetime, now you are mine, I plan to use you to further my kingdom, so use your new found freedom wisely, I have not given you a spirit of timidity, for I explicitly want you to do my work, I specifically want you to be my spark.

Do not fear, I am with you, I go before you to level the mountains, I will smooth your path, break down all the barriers, cut through metal bars so that you can go farther, rest in peace I am your anchor.

Your service will be rewarded by hidden treasures, riches for your life stored in safe places, so that you may know my face, know that it is I who call your name, know it is I who summons you, my holy work on earth to do.


I know that there is a lot of work to do in me, I am at the beginning of my journey, yet I long to know how I can serve, what God’s purpose for me is.  I know he needs to prepare me but sometimes I am a little impatient and that may be reflected in this poem I wrote a few weeks ago….


Reveal your path for me oh Lord.  I long to know how I should serve, what you have reserved for me to bring the glory back to you, to make an imprint on this land, to do the work you planned, to expand the horizons of my circle, have a universal impact and interact with Godly purpose.

Reveal your path to me oh Lord.  May I listen closely to your guidance, become compliant to your wishes, make me worthy of your calling, install a sense of obedience in me just as you have set me free, like a young bird in first flight, may I spread my wings and gain full height and maturity in my service to thee.