How do I get to see the real you?

So this verse was in my reading today and got me thinking, sometimes maybe should think before speaking, like just because it’s in your head doesn’t mean you should necessarily say it out loud!  However since becoming a Christian I do know that what I think and say has (and continues to change) and that is because my heart is set on God and that does impact on my life, my thinking and my heart for the positive 🙂

Luke 6:45 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.


OK so this is important and so true, question…  How do I get to see the real you? Like simple, it’s not all about listening to what you say although that may be a good indicator of your heart but for a start if I just check out your Facebook page what does it say about you, words whether spoken or written speak volumes, show your intentions, your motives are revealed and it is a minefield for those who do not see that words are power, words are potent and have the potential to change lives, words lift or harm,  words help or hinder, words encourage or dishearten, words reflect the state of your heart, the mouth speaks what the heart is full of, we shout about the things we are passionate about, we champion the cause that sits close to our heart… are you what you speak?  Do not let your mouth betray a troubled or impure heart, start to work from the inside out, hand your heart over to God, if you are guarding anything bad in there he can remove it, there is no hiding place from God and if you change your thoughts you can change the world, if you watch your thoughts you won’t have to watch what you say because you can only convey what’s true to you, that which causes your heart to beat a little bit faster because it’s a part of serving your Master, learn to put your heart right before God, learn to be the light in your world, Lord fill my heart with love and kindness remove my own blindness to my faults and failings and never fail to prompt me if my heart is not all it should be, fill my heart with a purity that reflects your love for me and I will seek to reflect you in every word I speak.

Jesus campaigned for me, put in a word for me

Luke 15: 3-6 – Then Jesus told them this parable: Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbours together and says, “Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.”

I love this parable, probably because I closely identify with it but also because of verse 7

I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous people who do not need to repent.

What an awesome picture and I love the thought that when I repented there was rejoicing in heaven and pray there may be much more rejoicing every day as more people get to know about God’s awesome love and forgiveness


Today I got to thinking about God’s redeeming love and how it could be that despite failing a thousand times, his mercy remained, so like Jesus campaigned for me, put in a word for his straying sheep, so I was the one not the ninety nine, the one who stepped out of line, the one who strayed, who moved away, I was the one who said, I don’t deserve to be loved by you, I’m just an imperfect girl living in my imperfect world, you see no-one explained that Jesus died for me, no-one told me that Jesus loved me despite my sin, and no one said that letting him into my life would make a difference, like if he looked at me in a mirror he doesn’t see a reflection of me but a reflection of his love for me, so where I saw a sinner, he saw the inner me, the possibilities, the reality of what his forgiveness meant for me and how can it be that he wanted to die for me?  How can it be that he put his life on the line to save mine, nails didn’t hold him to the cross, oh no it was his love for us that held him there and through his death we are redeemed and I say I don’t deserve forgiveness, yet through his sinless sacrifice he gave me eternal life, I am totally undeserving yet when I say to you I don’t deserve this you simply respond, “I forgive you, I love you” and how beautiful to find a heart that loves me without asking me for anything in return, a heart that’s concerned for me, that loves me unconditionally, I don’t deserve your love Jesus but will spend the rest of my life trying to, I don’t deserve you but accept with thanksgiving that your grace changes everything and my life began when you Jesus became my reason for living and now I am singing once more and I may not be a perfect girl but I rejoice that I will live in a perfect world when Jesus returns and takes me to heaven, and I cannot wait to be living with Jesus in glory, the perfect ending to my miraculous story.

I’ve tasted a flavour of what you give me

Today have been reading the following passage about “watchfulness”

Luke 12:35-48

“Be dressed ready for service and keep your lamps burning…………….

Really thought provoking word about making sure I am always prepared in my life for the moment Jesus returns, to stop putting off things until tomorrow in terms of service so if I think God wants me to do something, pass on a word to someone, encourage someone, I shouldn’t delay it for a day or two, strike immediately.  This passage has also got me thinking that I need to ensure my behaviours are appropriate so that at any time I would not be ashamed or embarrassed if Jesus was to return.  Kind of helps me with an issue I am working on right now I mean how would I feel if Jesus was in the room with me whilst I was sinning, wait, OK so Jesus is always in the room with me, so an even more important message which actually encourages me to fight this current battle with more faith and belief that I can just turn to Jesus who sees everything and knows everything and he will reach out and help me.


Jesus you see me all the time, I might not see you, but you see me, you know me, understand me, feel my fear, you are always near, always close at hand so that when I am tempted to sin I can lay that pain at the foot of the cross, say to you please take this now, shower me with love and blessings take away thoughts that are messing with my position as a child of the living Saviour, and God I challenge my own behaviour, I’ve tasted a flavour of what you give me and I want to enjoy this for all eternity, I want to watch and be ready for the day when you return, not caught messing with things of the past and I nail my colours to the mast, I am at last a child of God, because you were nailed to a cross, your loss was immense, your sacrifice perfect and despite my imperfection you have not rejected me, and as I wait for your return, I praise you that I can learn to love myself again, learn how to accept your love for me, learn how to be free and offer freedom to others through sharing your awesome name, through showing love one for another and I shudder as I think what might have become of me if you had not died to set me free, I praise you God that you will return to claim the victory, I pray that I may stay alert, put on your armour so that I can take my place on the battlefield, fighting for you without yielding until you return to claim your throne, may I never leave the zone of preparedness, ensure my awareness never falters and as I struggle may you lead me beside those still waters.

Being a human lighthouse

Today I have been sent some verses of encouragement from a friend all of which were amazing for me to read.  One in particular stood out after turning to my online reading today which was the same message from a different scripture (think God was giving me a strong message there!).  The verses sent me were Matthew 6: 19 -24 and my online reading was Luke 11: 29-36

Matthew 6 v22: The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy your whole body will be full of light. 23: But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!

Luke 11 v 34:  Your eye is like a lamp for your body. Suppose your eyes are good. Then your whole body also is full of light. But suppose your eyes are bad. Then your body also is full of darkness. 35: So make sure that the light inside you is not darkness.

On reflection my last few posts on here have not been about the light and the joy that God has given me, but focussing on my struggles.  However God has given me this great gift of eternal life and I want to shine my light so that others get to hear about him too and so I need to share, share share!


God, today I want to be a human lighthouse.  Today I want my light to shine far and wide, helping others to avoid the dangers and perils of the darkness, rendering harmless all threats and fears, helping others draw near to you.

To you God, light of the world, because of your great love, no one need walk in darkness again, everyone can call you friend and that is why I need to be a beacon of love for you today.

May my eyes radiate your love, let me be generous to give of my time and gifts, take time to uplift all those I meet, share a word of love from you, help me remember that others are watching and listening, may they be sure to know I’m a Christian by my behaviour, thank you oh my loving Saviour.

Got to stop wrestling with God

Reading this morning from Luke 9 and what particularly struck me was v 23 to 25

Then he said to all of them, “If anyone wants to follow me, he must say no to himself. He must pick up his cross every day and follow me. If he wants to save his life, he will lose it. But if he loses his life for me, he will save it. What good is it if someone gains the whole world but loses or gives up his very self?

It is hard to put this into action every day, yesterday at our prayer group we were looking at quotes and one of ours was “When you are in love with God you are not afraid to yield your life to him” -Heidi Baker.  Discussing this I felt that the initial step of giving your life to God is probably the easy bit, but moving forwards it is sometimes difficult to yield everything.  In all honesty I know that there are certain coping mechanisms that I still hold on to that I need to yield to God, but sometimes it just isn’t easy, in fact a bit scary to think of handing everything over, but that is what I want to do and will try to do with God’s help.


Lord help me to give up my coping tools, I know that you are patient, loving and kind, but I am also reminded of your commands, say no to yourself, pick up your cross, I need to trust that yielding my whole life to you will result in so many blessings, gifts and precious moments of true joy, enabling me to serve you, to receive all you want to give to me, to receive the best from you, so help me Lord I pray to stay strong in the face of temptations, to focus on you when the going gets tough, just tell me Lord “enough is enough”, trust in you, talk it through, pray for strength, wisdom and blessings and just stop wrestling with you for my way, allow you to take that pain away and serve you honestly day by day

Being childlike in our faith

Luke 18:17

Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.”

I have been thinking today about having a childlike faith.


A childlike faith, destitute of ambition, humble, teachable, not prone to pride.

Possessing complete trust, depend upon God for all our needs.

In childlike manner simply take God at his word, seek his truth with wide eyed curiosity, with affection accept his generosity.

Like a child, receive God’s gifts with openness, honesty and unbridled joy.

And as when a child grows they develop their views, use your intelligence, be alert to do his good work.

A childlike faith, simply trusting in God, believing his word, await our reward.

Jesus loved the marginalised….. and so should we

New week of readings this week and have turned to Luke.  Interesting to note Luke’s observations of Jesus being compassionate and a friend to the  “marginalised”.

I take real strength from this having felt marginalised all my life particularly before giving my life to God.

I think it is important for Church members to understand the effect that marginalising groups or individuals can have on them.  Yesterday I was waiting outside church to meet my visiting parents when an elderly couple who I knew before starting at church walked in.  Now he knows I am gay and has always been chatty and friendly in the past (pre-church days).  Since going to church for some 10 months now he has not once acknowledged me, whether verbally or with eye contact.  I said hello and got a brief hello back, however it really made me feel uncomfortable that I was clearly making him uncomfortable (if you get what I mean).

Whatever I am or was should make no difference, God loves me, God sought me out and God changed me, it is surely not our job to judge, surely we are here to support our Brothers and Sisters in their walk with God.

I am on the path to recovery and am learning to like/love myself, this in turn is helping me to cope with any prejudice that I receive and I want to hand this situation over to God and ask for his help in dealing with it.


Jesus loved nothing more than to reach out to the poor, not just poor in monetary terms, but those poor in spirit, weak in sin, those struggling to break in to the norms of society, those struggling against inflexibility, the rigidity of a world in which they never felt at home, a world in which they always felt alone.

Life lived in chaos, life requiring healing and wholeness, learning to like myself, learning to love myself, my search now subsiding, torment calming, a lived experience providing backbone to my witness, a fitness to serve my God through sharing my journey, praise God for his unending mercy.