Am I my body or am I my soul living in this outer shell

Does anyone else struggle sometimes with making snap judgments about people.  Working in the retail industry I meet literally hundreds of people each year.  Since becoming a Christian I am less likely to judge people by outward appearance, but every so often I fail.  Interestingly the other day I was talking to a guy who I had made a snap judgment on and turned out as we got talking that he was a church goer and had recently visited Jerusalem on a tour.  Isn’t it great that God does not look at the outside of us, but straight into our hearts?!

1 Samuel 16:7 – But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’

I also love Psalm 139 where God goes even further, he knows when I sit down, when I get up, my thoughts before I think them, my words before I say them.  God surrounds me, his knowledge is incredible, his thoughts towards me beyond my comprehension.

It reminds me not to judge but also reminds me not to react if someone fails to see the real me, cos God knows the real me and that’s all that matters.

BODY OR SOUL

Am I my body or am I my soul living in this outer shell, can you tell what I’m thinking when you look into my eyes, if I am tall does that make me better than someone who’s small?  If I am fat do you wonder what causes me to indulge, when you see my tattoos do you think I’m a loser or are you someone who’s easily impressed by outward appearance, if I showed you my scars would you think I was damaged goods, someone who couldn’t cope with life unless they are clutching a knife, do you hear me talk and think I’m an outsider, do you see what I’m reading and think it’s beneath you, do you see me walk into church and think that’s my crutch, a place for those who don’t have much else going for them, do you condemn me for my faith, do you proverbially spit in my face, well that’s OK, what I can say is I don’t need your approval, I don’t need to have you love me, to endorse my choices, I don’t need human voices to tell me I’m doing OK, I am a child of God, God who looks past the surface, he disregards the body and looks straight to my heart, he knows what I think, he knows my motivation, my fixation on serving him with all that I have, he looks upon me and that makes me glad, he looks at my soul, the soul he made whole, he looks past my shell into the very heart of my being, he is all seeing, all knowing, my loving Saviour whom I will serve forever.

How quickly things change…

OK so kicking myself this morning, last night sent a rash comment via a message to a friend and as soon as it had gone realised that I was so out of order, and lashing out at someone who loved me, and why did I lash out, purely because I was feeling in a vunerable place myself.  However I do recognise that what I did was wrong and now need to learn from God how to repent and then let go, instead of which I just give myself a hard time and worry.  So God sorry and please help me move on….

DELETE DELETE!

I said it but didn’t mean it and as soon as I pressed send I knew I should delete it but it had gone… and now it feels so wrong, and I am so mad with myself cos God told us to be slow to speak and quick to listen, but in this instance I let my words flow, failed to slow down and listen properly, and look where that’s got me, and now I’m angry, but God said be slow to anger and that’s the danger of my mind, I find quite quickly I spiral into accusation and condemnation, I am my own worst enemy, my harshest judge, and yet I know that my Judge is my Father in heaven, who delights over me and wants me to never feel so out of control, yes he wants me to feel whole so who stole that from me, was it my experiences with my family or the devil who enjoys taunting me or is it just me, that I fail to trust or believe that anyone could love me?  Stop, pause and rewind, I remind myself of the love of my Saviour, the answer to prayers he has provided, the Christian family he’s given to me who love and support me without any expectation of me, who nurture and care for my spiritual health who want me to have a wealth of your love, encourage me to learn and grow, and even though I get it wrong they are strong, they surround me with prayer so God, I know you are there for me, I know you don’t care that this time I might have made a mistake, because you recognise that I’ve stepped up to the plate and am trying my hardest to turn my life round and because of your mercy new life I have found.