Today it was hard to breathe, yet I will breathe again

Not the best day of my life, lost my big brother yesterday, 55 years old, heart attack, dead before he hit the floor.  Grief is a difficult emotion, not one I’ve really experienced to this extent ever before.  Sure, I’ve lost Grandparents but you expect that, not this.  I’m not going to lie and say we were close, because we weren’t, but he was my brother and that means something more than words could ever express.  A little piece of my heart is forever shattered.

Matthew 5:4 – Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted


All the memories come back, but you never will, siblings who started life so close, you know I have so much left to say to you, so many words unspoken, some bad, some good, today it was hard to breathe, yet I will breathe again, all breath has gone from you, you are still now, you are quiet, at rest, I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you, so sorry I couldn’t share my faith with you because of barriers from our youth, I cry a tear, a thousand more stream down my face, I wish we could embrace just one last time, I hope I didn’t let you down, I hope you found a peace with God before you left us and I am truly devastated that you are gone, I struggle with the void you’ve left, bereft and gutted to have lost you my precious and loved big brother.



  1. Sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what you must be going through at the moment but rejoice cause he is at a better place , away from all the struggles of this life and i am sure he would want you to live your life to the fullest. I pray that the Most High grants you the strength to move on and comforts you. 🙂


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