There was no penalty for me..

I have been reading the story of Jacob and how he wrestled with God.  Got me to thinking about my past wrestles with God and how sometimes we need to have these “encounters” with God to grow stronger as well as to understand more fully his will for our lives.

I wrestled long and hard with God over my sexuality, a long, hard battle but one that has helped shape and mould me.  I think because of that encounter with God I am now stronger and more prepared to fight the enemy when he comes to taunt or tempt me.  Had I not spent so long battling, I would not have learned what I did, I would not have covered all the ground and gained all the answers that now allow me to counter all the enemy’s lies.  So wrestling with God is probably not such a bad thing so long as we are prepared to learn from it, to allow God to speak (not let it become a one way torrent of anger against God!) and to trust God to use the fight for our growth and advancement in our faith.

Matthew 4:8-10 – Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendour. ‘All this I will give you,’ he said, ‘if you will bow down and worship me.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Away from me, Satan! For it is written: “Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.”


God you know how it goes, sometimes I think I know better and then I wrestle it through with you and I love that you let me do that, you let me rant and rave, question why I was made this way, and I love that you hold me close and let me know that it’s OK to feel that way, every day you show me something new, every day you prove your love over and over and over again, you took my shame when you died on the cross, not a trace of my sin is left because you addressed it there and then, when I was a sinner you still loved me, when I came to you your heart skipped a beat cos you had always planned for me to be part of your amazing family and there was no penalty for me because I’d strayed and run away, you amaze me, your love is beyond my comprehension and even when I come to you in dissension when I allow the enemy to get to me so that I start to question my suitability to be in your family you comfort me, you listen and then you reassure me, what can I say, you complete me and I am completely in love with you, unworthy yet you have made me righteous, built in your likeness, your blessings are priceless and I will praise you for eternity for loving me unashamedly, for marking me one of yours, for giving me a friendship which endures.


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