Looking back it’s 50 days since I last cut myself – awesome. BUT over the last few days thoughts of self-harm have crept back in and I am now struggling with harming myself in other ways and that’s not awesome at all, it’s confusing and difficult to understand. I have sought prayer support for this and I think today have finally realised that this is a Spiritual battle. I have not really thought much about what that means before now but it’s beginning to sink in and that kind of makes it easier to understand and therefore to fight against.
Ephesians 6:12 – For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
2 Corinthians 10:4 – The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.
I am at war, my enemies are real, they’re strong, they’re attacking me, temptation, oppression, obsession, filling my mind with suggestions that take me away from all you have for me, seeking to secure my mind, to find an area of weakness and they are ceaseless in their attack, incessantly looking for chinks in my armour, and then I remember my armour, God’s armour made especially for me to protect and support me and I forget to put it on, like genuinely forget that you offer me protection, I fear I have no concept of how much you protect me from and I must put on the armour without fail, keep alert, stand strong in my faith, be courageous, be strong, beating the battle within, being disciplined in my daily walk, talking to the Lord and asking him to take my hand, lead me through the minefield of my mind, for only God can destroy mental strongholds and teach me the truth and the Devil is a liar, his entire mission to undermine my self-control, to take my focus off serving God, to hinder my prayer for he knows that prayer is a powerful weapon so here it is, Satan you don’t scare me cos I’m a prayer warrior, I surround myself with warriors on the same mission with a strong vision and we recognise our weapons are not of the world, our Godly weapons have divine power to demolish strongholds, your stranglehold on me was broken the day I spoke to God and gave my life to him, and you know that God is preparing me for greater things, God will lead me, so I leave my fear behind, I have God’s strength and in my human frailty when all else fades, God remains, I reach out to God and ask for his strength he knows where I am, how I am feeling, he knows the beginning and the ending and on the day I meet him in heaven the battle won, the war over I will say, I made it, my battle against the forces of evil ended, the enemy extinguished, and I remember the Cross and claim for myself Christ’s words “it is finished”.