It’s amazing how God will find the right time for conversations to happen and how through these he can start to bring healing to our brokenness. Today, what started as a confrontational and heated phone conversation with my sister resulted in my telling her about my struggles and concerns and I believe that God started a healing process between us that is going to strengthen our relationship and start to bring healing to me.
This is my verse from God today:
2 Kings 20:5
I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will heal you.
My tears flowed like a river, a numbness filled my head, then my eyes learnt not to cry not to weep, I struggled to sleep as the thoughts flew around my mind, am I defined by my brokenness, am I defined by my loneliness or can your holiness save me?
Can I be healed, can your love be revealed through me, can you use me, can you take this crushed soul and make it whole, can you see that I am crippled emotionally because I could not see beyond my own experience did not see that deliverance was available to me, did not hand my weariness to you or seek a heavenly breakthrough?
And yet you knew all that; you chipped away at me, you showed me what you wanted me to see, you opened my ears to hear, to catch what you wanted me to hear, you stayed so near, right here by my side, your arms wide open to gather me safely, you patiently waited until I was ready and then you buried my sin, came into my very being, freeing me from the pain, my aching heart, showing me that you can use me.
I am not defined by brokenness but by your healing touch, not defined by loneliness but as a friend of God, your holiness has saved me, I am healed, your love has been revealed to me and with your light shining through me you can use me, my soul heartened, my emotions fixed, I see your path, accept your deliverance, rest in your forgiveness and accept the significance of your heavenly sacrifice in changing my life, you heard my prayers, you saw my tears and despite my years in the wilderness you have kept your promise to heal.