Was worrying yesterday because I know that the next week is going to be a tough one and all the people who normally support me are away on holiday, so felt a bit alone and floundering. So what happens? In the night woke up three times with Isaiah 2 in my mind. So first thing this morning I read it and was a bit bemused until I came to the final verse (v22)
Stop trusting in mere humans, who have but a breath in their nostrils. Why hold them in esteem?
Have been thinking about this and kind of read this as God saying to me why are you worried about coping, I am your God and you can turn to me. Now I am sure that’s not belittling the human support system I have around me but it really is a bit of a wake-up call, why wouldn’t I turn it all over to God and rely on him, after all he’s got it covered already.
Once again God it boils down to me believing in you, trusting in your love and care and believing that you are there for me again and again every time I call your name, and knowing that you never tire of my call, in fact more than that you’re actually telling me it’s OK to be weak and speak to you, it’s not a weakness in itself to seek your help and pour out my heart, it’s a start, a start to putting things right moving me from darkness to the light and right now what I need to do is sincerely trust that you are taking on my pain, you are dealing with my anger for you are no stranger to human emotion, you know how broken we can get, and yet in that brokenness you stand beside me, gently put your arms around me and guide me to a place of safety. I need your shield to protect me and as I face the days before me, feelings stir up inside me and I know the only place of safety is with you who came to save me, I ask that you will forgive me for forgetting to confide in you, for failing to ask you to protect me, for trying to do this on my own, I should have known that you would prompt me, remind me of your amazing grace, turn your face toward me so that I can see that all things work together for good for those who serve you, may I hold my nerve over the next few days, may I never sway from my belief that you are there beside me, fill me with a fearsome strength within my mind, may I feel your peace within me, release me from all anxiety and fear, oh Lord my God please stay so near that when I need to I can reach out and grab your hand so you will carry me through whatever trials unfold, I hold onto you my God, I praise you that you’ve used your word once more to show me that whatever lies in store, you will be at the core with me, helping, guiding and lifting me.