It’s not OK to say it’s OK

Last couple of times I talked to a Christian about my “marital status” for want of a better word I was just thrown out by the response.  The immediate response was a “well that doesn’t matter, I don’t care, doesn’t worry me, that’s OK, don’t think it matters now days” type of response.  So, OK I’ve just told you I live with my civil partner, because you asked (I don’t tend to tell people that straight away because of the responses I get) but you have then made the most massive assumption about me, what you think is “she is in a civil partnership, therefore she is actively gay, therefore she needs platitudes and reassurance that you don’t care about it and actually that you think it’s all right, and let’s go one step further actually you think that God doesn’t care either so have to get that all out in a few sentences so you’re not seen as judgemental.

OK so maybe I’ve exaggerated the last bit but here’s the thing, that’s what it feels like and as soon as you have made all those assumptions and statements I immediately feel the opposite of what you’re probably trying to make me feel, I feel like I am now backed into a corner and to tell my testimony becomes the most massive mountain to me and I will probably go quiet or change the subject.

I don’t know how others in my position feel, but I just want to be able to tell people about what God has done for me in my life and use that testimony to help them reflect upon his word and make their own choices, happy to have a healthy debate with anyone about where I stand on God and homosexuality but would rather not be made to feel like I need a pat on the head and the standard “it doesn’t make any difference to me” response.  I have the utmost respect for the few Christians who I have met who listen to me, don’t judge and have actually studied the Bible and drawn their own conclusions based on more than “political correctness” or a desire to be accepting, those who agree or disagree with my stance but who actually take the time to understand me and not make assumptions about me, who reflect God’s love for me.


I may have said this before and despite fear of becoming a bore I am going to pour out my heart on this subject, because I am becoming dejected that you are rejecting God’s teaching, preaching to me that it’s OK to be gay, that’s exactly what you say, “it’s OK”, on what premise do you say this, what scripture do you refer to, exactly who did you turn to when you made your decision, what wisdom do you relate to, who did you talk to, or did you?  Did you really consider this to any degree before you met someone like me, did you ever ask God what he would say about the fact that I am gay, did you ever think that I might have had an almighty fight with myself before I got this straight, that I have referred to God, that I have deferred to the highest power, hour after hour I have debated this question it became an obsession with me and you dismiss me so easily with “it’s OK to be gay”.  All I ask is for a fair hearing, not to feel like your words are designed for pleasing, but reasoning, healthy debate, it’s not too late for you to take a deeper look at God’s word, to listen to what has gone unheard, be spurred on to understand the plans God has for me, yes for me to step out from a life of sin, to open my heart and let him in, to work in me to do his will, so be still and know that he is God, be still and know what’s in his word and I pray you will not be scared to stand out from the politically correct, connect with God and know the truth, the path may not be smooth but the rewards are immense, to show others the importance of a life served in obedience to our God, for every time you say, it’s OK, just maybe one of us will stray, stray back to a life of pain a life where we will never gain access to his heavenly kingdom, a life devoid of freedom, your words matter, your opinion may shatter the fragile start of a journey, so I ask you to join me in thinking about each and every word spoken to those who have turned from a broken past, safe in the arms of their Saviour at last.


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