Why is it that sometimes when I pray I feel so close to God and then others I feel a bit like God’s not there?
Last night is an example of that, after a difficult evening, a disagreement with my partner and some tears I called out to God, but felt empty. So after a sleepless night turned to the Bible and did a bit of surfing to help me understand and found some very sound advice.
The first challenge was about my motives and my lack of adoration/worship. Why was I praying? Because I felt sad. What was I trying to achieve? Actually probably nothing, I was ranting, annoyed and blaming God. So in essence I was failing to give God the Glory and failing in my motivations, I wasn’t asking the right thing and I wasn’t in the right place to have a conversation with a loving and caring God.
Secondly, there was unconfessed sin. I had been arguing with my partner yet didn’t start with confessing that sin, I didn’t humble myself before God and seek his forgiveness, that is clearly an issue, I need to stand up to the plate and own up to my weaknesses and sins, for God to be able to help me.
Finally I don’t feel like I know enough of God’s word yet to dig deep into in times of distress. When you start to look, God has answers for every situation in the Bible and we can take strength from these. I really admire people who can pluck a verse out of the air to offer comfort, strength, wisdom in times of need.
HEAR MY PRAYER
Open the eyes of my heart Lord, open my eyes to my sins and failings, challenge my bad behaviour, may I receive favour in your eyes, may I gain my eternal prize, make me wise in my actions, bold in my interactions through prayer, never again feeling that you are not there.
Open my ears Lord that I may hear your voice, may I rejoice in the opportunity to pray, may my day be filled with endless worship, may there be a sense of urgency from within to confess all my sin, to turn my face back to the light, to adore you with all my might.
Open my mouth Lord, not in anger or despair, but in loving reverence of your care, endless praises I will sing, all my gifts to you I’ll bring. Teach me through your Holy word, may your teachings stir my soul, may your Gospel make me whole.