I was challenged just this week at my first ever prayer meeting (nerve racking yet enjoyable!) to prepare and then share my testimony with one other member of the group.
But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect..
Now for me sharing my testimony also means talking about my sexuality and my sexuality was a massive barrier for me in terms of ever having a relationship with God. (As an aside I also still find it a massive barrier when introducing myself to other Christians, I know I shouldn’t fear rejection because God has not rejected me, but I do struggle with how to be more open about my personal life).
However through his great love and grace he has saved me, I have changed path, whilst I still define myself as Gay (a label I don’t particularly like) I am no longer actively Gay nor will I ever go back to that path as I have been saved (praise God!)
I still live with my partner of 16 years, who is not (yet) a Christian and who has and still is struggling with my change of path, however I believe through God’s grace we will grow and she will also come to know his love (prayers welcome).
Anyway, cut the waffling and to the poem I wrote as my testimony
I want to share my testimony, to share my story to let people know why I believe and what your sacrifice means to me.
I was lost, I felt alone, I challenged all that you made known, I wanted to prove that I was right, I wanted to walk within the light, but I was lost and feeling low, I felt there was nowhere to go to I was acutely aware that I was a sinner and nothing I did made that feeling grow dimmer.
So here’s my story, I am gay, I’ve made excuses along the way, I’ve sought to prove that it’s OK, that Jesus wouldn’t turn me away, but what can I say? Through seeking to prove that I was right, I learned that to walk in the light I needed to reflect and respect your word, and now it seems so absurd that I ever questioned your teaching, reaching for reassurance that just wasn’t there.
I tuned my radio into a station, Premier Christian radio, the voice of hope and reason, where your word permeated my life, like a beacon lighting my way and encouraging me to further explore, through finding a church and walking through the door.
You challenged and guided, supported and chided, surrounded me with people who cared, showed me that to be one of your children I needed to make some fundamental changes, rearrange my priorities and as I fell to my knees and asked your forgiveness I felt your love and I felt blessed.
Now I’m growing and by your grace, I face life with a smile, no longer feeling things are bad, bemoaning things I could have had, no longer feeling uncontrollably sad. In fact the joy I feel bursts from me, I am saved, amazed at your awesome love for me, outrageous praise I have for the outrageous grace you’ve shown to me.